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Got this from another board

*What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

*What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

*What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag

*Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

*What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?

*Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

*What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

*What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

*What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

*What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

*What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

*Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

*Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

*What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

*What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

*Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

*What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

*What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

*Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

*Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

*Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

*Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

*Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

*Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

*Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong

*What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

*What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

*What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

*How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

*Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

*What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh|t..."
 

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Funny.



Necroposting.
 
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