Smack talk ha ha ha - LS1LT1 Forum : LT1, LS1, Camaro, Firebird, Trans Am, Engine Tech Forums
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-20-2019, 10:01 AM Thread Starter
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Smack talk ha ha ha

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!!":can can:
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-20-2019, 10:14 AM Thread Starter
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Compliments of the Camaro five guys LOL
Here is some more.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of whisky. He gulps it down and peeks into his shirt pocket. He orders another shot of whisky, gulps it down and peeks into his short pocket. He orders a third shot and does the same thing. After the sixth shot, he asks the bartender for the bill, pays and starts to walk out.
Curiosity gets the better of the bartender and he says to the guy "Excuse me, but I noticed that every time you drank a shot, you kept looking into your pocket. I was wondering what's in your pocket." The guys slurs "Well, I have a picture of my Ford Mustang in my pocket. I keep drinking until she starts to look good."
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-20-2019, 10:31 AM Thread Starter
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What's the difference between a cactus and a Mustang?
Answer: On the cactus, the prick is on the outside.A Mustang owner locked his keys inside his car. While the owner was working on the driver's-side door lock, his 3 year old son walked up and tried the passenger's-side door. It opened.
The Mustang owner looked up- "Yeah, I already got that one."




What does F.O.R.D. stand for?

Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Finally Obsolete Racing Device
Free Or Reduced Drastically
Factory Ordered Road Disaster
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
Funny Old Rattling Dump
F&#*ed Over Rebuilt Dodge
Fails On Rainy Days
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fu#%ed On Race Day
Flintstone Or Rubble Driven
Failed On Race Day
Found On Racetrack Dead
A Texan man was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he had, how many women he had been with, and how much land he owned.
A young man growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan; "Just how much land do you own?"
The Texan tipped back he's Cowboy hat and said to the young man: "Well sunny let me put it to you like this, I can get into my pickup at sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch, and still not get to the other side of my property by sunset."
The young man shot back quickly: "Oh yeah, I know what you mean. I used to own a FORD truck too!"


Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If it wasn't for Fords
Our tools would rust.


What's the difference between a Ford and the principal's office?
? A. It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.

"Backwards" - Driver Returns On Foot
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-20-2019, 10:43 AM Thread Starter
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Hey! I had a Mustang once. Named it Flattery. You know, because Flattery will get you nowhere.
Here I sit broken hearted
I wish my Ford would have started
but it didn't, so that's a rap
oh God why did I buy this piece of crap

Speed Kills: Drive a Ford and live forever

I'd rather push a Chevy then drive a Ford


Twas the night before Christmas and caught at the light,
Was a domestic V8 and no cops in sight,
I will try, I will try, I will try with this small motor,
To beat this damn Camaro, even with its big blower,
As the light goes green and I pull like no joke,
The Camaro erupts in clouds of tire smoke,
Now Smasher, now Rev-ver, now Stroker, now Blitzin,
These are the names of my four VTEC pistons,
Racing ahead I'm the star of the action,
But I know I'm in trouble when V8 gets traction,
Grabbing second, I hear the RPM's sing,
My mirror is blocked by my shopping kart wing,
I now hear the roar of the big monster gaining,
All I can do is keeping the four-banger straining,
In a second, the shock wave hits with a blast,
And my stickers go flying now a thing of the past,
Don't bother with third, cause now it's too late,
Just try to act cool, like you can relate,
Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller,
The driver back off just to give me a holler,
"You can't win them all," he says in fling,
"You may not win any, in that silly thing,"
I smiled and revved as he pulled out of sight,
With my new mods tomorrow…it will be a better night.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-20-2019, 12:59 PM Thread Starter
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I raced a ford mustang
night before last
we blew off the tires
to make the last pass
the snake lined upon me
I must make alass
I rode my clutch half sticking gears
to put the Cobra way in the rears
my ignition died
I jumped on my brakes leaving a gash
I realized I stopped 20 ft from the post
I jumped out and started pushing I must make the most
the Cobra was gaining
I must make the post
I slipped on my stearing fluid
Taking a bad pose
And my Z28 Camaro won by a nose

Last edited by TealHornet; 07-20-2019 at 01:55 PM.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-20-2019, 01:39 PM Thread Starter
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The ryme was motivated by real life a couple days ago my optispark took a dive .
The mustang driver rolled back by And I started laughing and couldnt say any thing
and he flipped me off and drove off.
It left me in hysterics laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes walking about 20 miles home
without even calling a tow truck.
My wife asked me who I killed and where is the car?
All I could do was stand there with a dried up bloody nose laughing and crying for about a hour after
got home...
the car started up the next day and I drove it home before taking a dive again.
I had a few times where I had to pull over trying to not laugh my self into wrecking my car.
I dont know if it was from smashing my face on the pavement or the events that happened.
I felt like I was higher than a kite on some thing.

Last edited by TealHornet; 07-20-2019 at 01:50 PM.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-03-2019, 02:57 AM
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 08-04-2019, 05:22 PM Thread Starter
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music a tune sounds behind a song
Hard wood flooring usualy oak or cedar
???????
Riddle A WOOdy
moans
mouth and body
Toro toro
Acieta amore rape love gangster getto sex slangs
Not interested and with 1st blog
I think your lost LoS Amigo
Wrong FORUM Hazuese
khosango mr 9 inch
This is a car forum and being LUDE or advertizing sex is against forum rules

Last edited by TealHornet; 08-04-2019 at 06:09 PM.
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